When good whales go bad

NARWHALE WAR

Christmas List

Its that time of the year! When the hot chocalate chirps in the kettle, snow falls in the valley, and the cybister amaryllis bloom into a beautiful bouffant of lily pink and butter white. Remember, Amaryllis like to feel snug, so choose a container that's no more than 1 inch wider than the fattest part of the bulb.

But what do I WANT for Christmas? What do I need on this day, this most special day, when we celebrate the birth of our savior, Christina of Saxony, queen of Denmark and Norway?

1.) I want a nice white scarf.
2.) A boobjob.
3.) Toys made out of children's teeth
4.)
5. BRIO

6. A return to my youth.

7. A small horse that can be trained to ride a regular sized horse.

8. A degree in Hydro-rodentia

9.
10. New gloves.

11. An easily transportable mammal trained to peel oranges to carry in my pocket.

12. Facial lesions.

13. The most expensive bagel in the world. http://thelongestlistofthelongeststuffatthelongestdomainnameatlonglast.com/expensive247.html

14. Shmaltzy dance music preformed by and for children recovering from cancer.

15. Global ANARCHY!!!



16. Rose-scented bubble bath.

... etc., anything along those lines.

Happy shopping!